While the soul really lives, its deepest dread is perhaps the dread of automatism. For automatism in life is a forestalling of the death process.
— D.H. Lawrence
This is the way out of the vicious circle. Not to rush round on the periphery, like a rabbit in a ring, trying to break through. But to retreat to the very center, and there to be filled with a new strange stability, polarized in unfathomable richness with the center of centers.
We are so silly, trying to invent devices and machines for flying off from the surface of the earth. Instead of realizing that for us the deep satisfaction lies not in escaping, but in getting into the perfect circuit of the earth's terrestrial magnetism…
The business of living is to travel away from the source. But you must start every single day fresh from the source. You must rise every day afresh out of the dark sea of the blood.
When you go to sleep at night, you have to say: "Here dies the man I am and know myself to be."
And when you rise in the morning you have to say: "Here rises an unknown quantity which is still myself."
The self which rises naked every morning out of the dark sleep of the passionate, hoarsely-calling blood: this is the unit for the next society. And the polarizing of the passionate blood in the individual towards life…
We have to sink back into the darkness and the elemental consciousness of the blood. And from this rise again. But there is no rising until the bath of darkness and extinction is accomplished.
As social units, as civilized men we have to do what we do as physical organisms. Every day, the sun sets from the sky, and darkness falls, and every day, when this happens, the tide of life turns in us.
Instead of flowing upwards and outwards towards mental consciousness and activity, it turns back, to flow downwards. Downwards towards the digestion processes, downwards further to the great sexual conjunctions, downwards to sleep.
This is the soul now retreating, back from the outer life of day, back to the origins.
If something in the words I publish here stirs the blood, consider becoming a paid subscriber. This space runs on conviction, not algorithms. Paid support helps keep this newsletter alive. If you're drawn to what's beneath the surface, I'd love to have you along for the deeper dive. This week, I’m offering 20% off for an annual subscription. Thanks again for your support.
You can find this passage in Lawrence’s work—Fantasia of the Unconscious.